Where to
start from exactly? Parents, one of the worst things you can do to a child is
to raise him/her in a broken home......simply put "no child deserves to
live with parents separated".
This is
the story of a couple that were madly in love with each other. They decided to get
married to each other and start a family together. They got married and had two
children (a boy and a girl), all seemed fine for a while, but it was just for a
while. I'll be telling this story from their little girl's point of view,
"I was barely 3 years old when my parents got separated, the sad part
is I can't even remember seeing them together as a family. All I can
remember is that I started my life with my parents separated, so it was my
brother and I against the world.
My
brother was everything I had in this world while growing up, he was my friend, confidant,
role model and he encouraged me in every aspect of life, he was my big brother
indeed. Memories of my childhood had a lot of sad days, crying, wishing and hoping
my family could just be one of those normal families.
Every
member of my family was affected in one way or the other; my father blamed my
mother and vice-versa. The only way for my brother and I to survive was by not
laying blame on anybody. I remember that I really didn't have a reason for
existing as a growing child, thinking back my mother was always so worried
about me and then if she said something like be careful when you are
crossing the road, I would think to myself "what's the worst that can
happen, I get hit by a car and I die. No biggy, moreover I don't even know why
I'm alive anyways". I tell my friends that if I weren't black, I
would definitely have committed suicide, guess blacks don't just think like
that no matter how bad things get.
My mother
lived in so much fear that she even robbed it on me. At one point in my life, I
was afraid to do anything, was even afraid to live my life. There was no love
in my family, each member was just trying to survive. To make matters worse was
the fact that we had financial constraint. There were days we had to ask family
friends for food, or buy on credit from people that sold food. I thank God, we
survived those trying times.
My mother
and I never got along well, because when she said anything negative about my
father I was always ready to defend him. Don't get me wrong, my dad also said a
lot of negative things about my mum, but you can never break a father-daughter
bond. They were both very hurt by the fact that the marriage didn't turn out
well, and they both just shifted blame on the other party, while their children
were caught between it all. I don't even think they realized the amount of emotional
and psychological stress we were put through.
At some
point, we received the gospel of Christ and it began to have it's way in us
and then love that I could not understand came into my family.
Although, my parents remained separated, there was a light that shined in
my family that wasn't always there. We had lengthy discussions as a family, and
it helped us greatly. You should come to my home now, there is so
much expression of love that we know it could only have been God."
We didn’t
even realise that there was a problem for a long while, but as the years went
by, all the hurt and hatred began to die down and we began to discuss and relate
as a family. It was then we all realized that there was so much hurt in their family
and so much sadness. With the help of God, my brother and I learnt to love
and appreciate both parents in their capacity and they lived better
afterwards.
This is the
story of my family and I was willing to tell it. Presently, there are many more
broken homes with sad parents and children. The way to live is to let God's
love take away your hurt, it's not too late to start living.
Finally,
you need to speak to someone you trust, read books, attend seminars that will
help you understand God’s love.
There is
always hope...
Thanks.
Written By: Dr Dolapo.A
