Reaching Out

Everyday, I think on how to make the lives of people better.I know I cannot influence everyone, neither can I be everywhere, but I know that by sharing this message with you,lives will be touched positively.

A young lady told me how she has been battling with masturbation since childhood.She said that, a female friend of hers used to teach her when they were young.

She knows that masturbation is wrong, but she can't just stop.She is trying to move onto the next level of her, but she is facing challenges and she thinks that God is using the challenges to punish her for masturbating.

She could not talk to her mum, because her mum is always shouting and she is not close to her elder sister.

Our parents trained us the best way they could at that time, but to some of us, the training was too harsh.We could not interact freely with our parents.We looked for refuge outside, either in books, music, movies, alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, clubbing, sex, etc. At the end of the day, we could not wait to leave the house.

This has led some of us into making wrong decisions that we regret today.You need to be careful not to make the same mistake your parents made.

Therefore:
- Discover your self

- Stand for what is right

- Don't be pressurized into making any decision especially in marriage (think carefully)

- Make up your mind to learn on how to be a good parent ( read books,attend seminars on parenting, etc)

- Speak positive words to your children

- Let them know that you :

 A) Love them

 B) Believe in them

 C) Appreciate them

 D) See the best in them

- Create time to spend with your children

- Hug them regularly

- Be proud of them

- Engage them in positive activities such
as reading books, playing games like monopoly,scrabble, etc

Remember that your children will live with you for at least 16years (that is if they don't enter school before the age of 16). Use this period wisely,so you won't regret it.

This should be not to your children alone but also for other younger ones.

Gracias

Sex Education

Good Day,

I had a wonderful time speaking to a group comprising Parents and children @ Foursquare Gospel Church,Tafawa Balewa Crescent, Surulere,on the 21st of may,2013.

I thought of sharing the following key points from the discussion with you.


A. Sex is Universal

B. Sex is a marketing tool for products, songs,fashion etc

C. Every child is different & parents need to know and understand their child's pin code(s)

D. In the beginning of a project or business, we carry out a SWOT analysis.We do research to ensure that the project or business does not fail.We need to do regular SWOT analysis for children.

E. Parents should:
- create an environment that allow children to express themselves.
- be truthful to their children
- cultivate a cordial relationship with their children. Cordial relationship takes effort and persistence as it grows over time.
-show and express unconditional love to their children.
- instill confidence in their children
- speak positively, words of love and encouragement to children
- train children up in the way of the Lord(This includes sex)
- educate and inform children about sex and its consequences
- teach children to protect themselves from rape or any other form of abuse.
- teach children not to allow anyone touch or fondle with their bodies, especially their sensitive parts.
- keep their disagreement with their spouse from children. It has a negative psychological effect.
- rebuke when necessary. (N.B. Shouting and beating does not really make a child heed to correction, especially teenagers)

The aim of every parent should be to love, not scare the child. Therefore, parents should rebuke their children with love.

In conclusion, times have changed, if we don't teach the younger generation, the world will teach them and this may lead to grievous consequences.

God's grace and strength is available for us. Let's tap into it now.

I Believe In You.

I Believe In The Future Leaders.

I will put a summary of parent's comments at the program tomorrow on this blog.

Please share this message with your friends and families.

Pharm.Oluwatosin Fatungase
@oluwatosinfatun

Ladies, don't get caught.

Rape is a very terrible act. The perpetrators of this evil act could be male or female. The same goes for the victims. Due to the stigma attached to rape, the victims of this act usually keep the incident to themselves. This is especially true in African countries where deeply held cultural beliefs deny the victim the required sympathy and support.

'Since the advent of social media, there has been a rise in the number of reported cases of rape. This is a positive step in the right direction.' Another interesting development is the invention of the 'rape-prevention underwear' by a group of Indian students. You can read more about it here:
http://t.co/E30tLKekaz.

It will definitely take some time before the anti-rape underwear gets to Africa, but while we are waiting for it, I have compiled some helpful tips that can keep you from being raped. I am sure you will find them very useful.

1.) As a lady, avoid going alone to a male person's house, especially if it is someone you don't really know.

2.) Avoid taking any drink or food at a guy's house. You can buy your own drink and keep it in your bag.

3.) As a young lady, carry pepper spray,nail cutter, pens (I know this is not popular in Africa). Keep the items within easy reach, especially if you are going to be alone in a guy's house. They will come handy, if there is a foul play.

4.) Learn some self-defense skills

5.) Avoid late night outings, dark corners and roads.

6.) Avoid entering vehicles with strange faces.

7.) Always inform a responsible friend or adult about your whereabouts.

8.) The rapists can be familiar people.Be ready always.

9.) Do not dress provocatively.

10.) Do not have the false belief that you cannot be raped. Therefore, protect yourself.

My Quotes:
There is no good reason for rape to occur

The rapist and victim can either be male or female

The victim of rape can be destroyed forever.

The victim or rapist can be anyone.

Stop the stigma against rape victims.

Rapists should be punished according to the laws of the land.

The victims should seek help from a professional cousellor.

Gracias

Written By: Pharm. Oluwatosin Fatungase www.2alkaboutit.blogspot.comTosinfatung08@yahoo.com
@oluwatosinfatun

She speaks and motivates future leaders. Also, she consults for parents, teachers and guardians on how to love,train, discipline and communicate effectively with children and teenagers.

Presently, she speaks to over a thousand teenagers monthly at different secondary schools in Lagos, Nigeria.

Rape Expos'e 3

This is the story of a family that was robbed and their daughters raped.

It was a 5-man gang that besieged this family that Saturday night. After breaking into the jewellery vault and carting away trinkets, the men descended on these two daughters. Both daughters were raped by these five men.

It was a terrible ordeal and due to the shame, they all pretended that the incident never occurred.

The ladies were hurt, dehumanised and they could not wash away the memory of that incident.

Consequently, they hated men and they were focused in all they set their hearts to do. They grew to be elites in the society and they became familiar with lesbians. Finally, they became lesbians.

General Points:
1). Rape is a terrible act
2). Both men and women can be perpetrators or victims of this terrible act.
3). From the above story, this family was robbed both physically and emotionally.
4). Their self-worth and confidence can only be restored by God's grace and good professional counsel.


Please Note: I know quite a number of people have been raped and don't know what to do next. This can lead to one indulging in wrong practices or associations.

A victim of rape deserves love, care, kindness, compassion, etc. Personally, I believe that every mess can become a positive message to people. To everyone reaching out for love in order to feel complete, God loves you. Follow his lead and he will settle everything that concerns you.

Please stop the stigma against rape victims. Please support, by sharing this message to all your friends,loved ones and every person you know.

@oluwatosinfatun

Gracias

Rapists Are The Culprits, Not Their Victims.

A rapist as defined by the Thesaurus dictionary, is someone who forces another to have sexual intercourse.

The rapist can either be a male or female. The act of rape can be done singly or as a group of people. The victim can be a child or an adult.

There are several factors that might lead to the terrible act of rape. They include:
1). Pornography
2). Anger
3). The desire for power
4). Sadism
5). Sexual gratification and
6). Evolutionary pressures

The act of rape is very terrible and the perpetrator needs to see a psychologist. Also, the rapist should be prosecuted and charged according to the laws of the land.

Most of the time, the victims of rape are scared and ashamed to tell anyone because of the stigma. Also, they might be blamed for the cause of the act of rape, due to improper dressing,location, etc.

Rape is a very terrible act. There is no reason or excuse for rape. If you have a problem as a rapist, seek help from a psychologist,work on your character (Self-discipline) and adhere to proper counsel or recommendation.

Stop the stigma against rape victims. Please your suggestions and contributions are welcome.

Please call: 08075304034

Gracias

Rape, A Terrible Act

The month of march has been fabulous, I have been writing on rape.A lot of people have written to me about their experiences and the aftermaths.I hate the act of rape, because it destroys the victim most of the time.

Rape can lead to the victim having:
1). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
2). Depression
3). Self-injury/ self-harm
4). Substance abuse
5). Flashbacks
6). Sexually Transmitted Infections
7). Pregnancy
8). Borderline personality disorder
9). Stockholm syndrome ( the victim has emotional bonding with the abuser), etc.


There is no excuse for anyone to carry out the evil act of rape.Rapists need help and they should be charged according to the laws of the land.

The victims of rape need love, care and they need to visit a psychologist regularly.

Please let's stop the stigma against rape victims.They need our love and support.Let's protect our families, friends, neighbours and colleagues from rape.

Please join and support us in this campaign.
For more information,call :
08075304034

Gracias

Playboy, So What?

A young handsome man was known by people as a playboy.He was proud about it, and the ladies kept on flocking around him, but he told his friend on a particular day, how it all started.

He was from a wealthy home and his parents were never at home most of the time.He was practically raised by the househelp.He hardly saw his parents, they leave the house early in the morning and get back home late in the night when he will be asleep.

The househelp was a 27year old lady.She allowed him to watch any kind of movie, especially pornographic movies. She told him that they can practice what they watched and she would teach him what to do. He was just 7years old when he had his first sexual experience.

She taught him a lot and he enjoyed it.This continued until she got married and left the house. He started sleeping with girls in his class, but they were not experienced. He moved to sleeping with his seniors.This continued until he got to the university.

He enjoyed his fame and wealth. He did not care about anything else, he was enjoying himself.In his final year, he got very sick and they carried out HIV test on him and he was positive.He felt the world crashing at his feet. He blamed his parents for been too busy, the househelp for the exposure to sex and himself for not seeking help.

Points:

1) He had his first sexual experience with the househelp at the age of 7.

2) His sexual appetite grew and when the househelp left, he started sleeping with different girls.

Questions To Ask Yourself:

Are you been influenced by your past?

What efforts are you taking to become better?

Lessons: We are from different backgrounds and this might influence our actions.We should avoid the same mistakes our
parents made.We have to do this by taking conscious efforts.

A child exposed to sex and its vices affects ones life.The truth is you can choose to make its impact positive or negative, if its negative, seek good and proper counsel.

Remember, there is no challenge that you cannot overcome.The first step is for you to seek good counsel from a professional.

Gracias